The Quotes of the erudite, which inspire me.

Take one a day and inwardly digest.

The ink of wise men is worth more than the blood of martyrs. (The Prophet Mohammed)

The fish doesn't understand the water. (Clotaire Rapaille)

Be more than you seem. (Frederick the Great)

Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. (Anon)

Quoting one is plagiarism, quoting many is research. (Anon.)

Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe. (Anon.)

Nothing matters very much, and very little matters at all. (Arthur Balfour)

The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you can fake anything. (Groucho Marx)

It is better to be functionally drunk than dysfunctionally sober. (Hunter S. Thompson)

The old repeat themselves, the young have nothing to say. The boredom is mutual. (Jaques Bainville)

Sometimes you have to wait until the evening to see how glorious the day has been. (Sophocles)

Churning water, for however long a time, does not produce butter. (Anon.)

In the long run, we are all dead. (Maynard Keynes)

When everybody is somebody, then no one is anybody. (W.S.Gilbert)

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. (George Santayana)

The object of work is leisure. (Aristotle)

To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others. (Albert Camus)

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are. (Quentin Crisp)

Money is just what we use to keep tally. (Henry Ford)

Possessions are generally diminished by possession. (Nietzche)

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, and a hell of heaven.(John Milton)

No man but a fool is a stranger to fear. (Anon and many)

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. (Mark Twain)

To be angry is to revenge the faults of others upon ourselves. (Alexander Pope)

A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping. (Kenneth Tynan)

The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums. (G.K.Chesterton)

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well mannered. (Voltaire)

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. (George Bernard Shaw)

Any idiot can face a crisis, it is day to day living that wears you out. (Anton Checkov)

Take your life in your own hands and see what happens. A terrible thing - no one to blame. (Erica Jong)

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it. (Kierkegaard)

What a fine comedy this world would be if one did not play a part in it. (Diderot)

Anything can happen in this life, especially nothing. (Michel Houellebecq)

You can't say civilisations don't advance. In every war they kill you in a new way. (Will Rogers)

Education is about lighting fires - not filling buckets. (W.B.Yeats)

The way to be a bore is to say everythng. (Voltaire)

Enthusiasm, ever the deadly foe of accuracy. (Lord Redesdale)

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge. (Mark Twain)

Puritanism, the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. (H.L.Mencken)

I would rather be an opportunist and float than go to the bottom with my principles round my neck. (Stanley Baldwin)

Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another. (G.K.Chesterton)

We educated ourselves to make noble use of our leisure. (Aristotle)

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. (Oscar Wilde)

Anyone who claims to be truly original has no memory.(Coco Chanel)

The man who makes no mistakes seldom makes anything. (Anon.)

In victory you deserve Champagne, in defeat you need it. (Napoleon)

Solvency is entirely a matter of temperament and not of income. (Logan Pearsall Smith)

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. (Errol Flynn)

Happiness is not getting what you want; it is wanting what you have. (Prof.Andrew Clark)

Its not the people who vote that count. Its the people who count the votes. (Stalin)

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and leave you looking forward to the trip. (Alex Salmond)

Wealth unused may as well not exist. (Aesop)

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. (Kierkegaard)

The really frightening thing about middle-age is that you know you'll grow out of it. (Doris Day)

At 20, we worry about what others think of us; at 40, we don't care what they think of us; at 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all. (Bob Hope)

We have to believe in free will. We have no choice (Isaac Bashevis)

If you don't have enemies, you don't have character.(Paul Newman)

In Britain, trousers cause twice as many accidents as chain-saws. (The Times)

Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem he has to solve. (Erich Fromm)

Life is hell, most people are bastards and everything is bullshit. (George Black's last words to his son, Conrad)

Kill a man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone and you are a god. (Jean Rostand)

When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. (African traditional)

The young are always ready to give those who are older than themselves the full benefit of their inexperience. (Oscar Wilde)

A fool and his money are lucky to have met in the first place. (I wish I knew.....)

There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either. (Robert Graves)

War does not determine who is right, only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end. (Igor Stravinsky)

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the ones you need to concentrate on. (Robert Strauss)

You can fool some of the people all of the time. These are the folks you must concentrate on. (George Bush)

Falling coconuts kill 150 people annually, ten times more than are killed by sharks.(The Mirror)

This war, like the next war, is a war to end war. (David Lloyd George)

Too much of a good thing is wonderful. (Armistead Maupin)

Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken nonentity. (Barbara Stanwyck)

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from aquiring the deadening effect of habit. (Somerset Maugham)

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. (Oscar Wilde)

Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversation. (Elizabeth Drew)

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. (H.L.Mencken)

No soldier ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other son of a bitch die for his. (General Patton)

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (Mahatma Gandhi)

Always forgive your enemies: nothing annoys them so much. (Oscar Wilde)

Someone is always cheated in a bargain. (David Grayson)

If you don't see a sucker at the table, you're it. (Amarillo Slim - poker player)

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser. (Anon.)

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. (George Bernard Shaw)

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. (Hunter S. Thompson)

Every man is, or hopes to be, an idler. (Dr.Johnson)

The strongest minds are those of whom the noisy world hears least. (Wordsworth)

The problem is God gave man a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run them one at a time. (Robin Williams)

The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end. (Benjamin Disraeli)

Many people think they are attracted by God, or by Nature, when they are only repelled by man. (W.R.Inge)

God must really hate us or he wouldn't have given us religion. (J.Whiting)

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love each other. (Jonathan Swift)

Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. (Oscar Wilde)

Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it. (Lily Tomlin)

Reality is something you rise above. (Liza (with a Z) Minnelli)

A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people. (Thomas Mann)

An original writer is one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate. (Francois-Rene de Chateaubriand)

A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of somone else's? (Ricky Gervaise)

We are never more angry with others than when we feel ourselves to be at fault. (A.N.Wilson)

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. (Albert Einstein)

Rogues are preferable to fools, as rogues occasionally take the day off. (Alexandre Dumas).

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. (Jon Lithgow)

A man who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his intrusion on that of others. (Jane Austen)

Being busy is the best excuse for not working. (Kenneth Tynan)

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art. (Tom Stoppard)

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognises genius. (Arthur Conan Doyle)

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. (Evelyn Waugh)

Patriotism is the conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. (George Bernard Shaw)

A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbours. (William Ralph Inge)

Politics is the art of preventing people from minding their own business. (Paul Valery)

The greatest hypnotist on the planet is sitting in the corner of every living room. (David Icke)

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't deal with drugs. (Robbie Williams)

Whoever you vote for, the government always gets in. (Anon.)

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. (William Pitt)

If you are in a cell and you can see the bars, you know you're in a cell and there's something you can do to get out of it. If you can't see the bars you will sit there forever thinking you are free. (David Icke)

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. (Stanislaw Jerzy Lec)

The trouble with true humility is that you cannot talk about it. (Michael Thomsett)

Never believe anything until it is officially denied. (Claud Cockburn)

The only safe way to destroy your enemy is to make him your friend. (Abraham Lincoln)

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one. (Benjamin Franklin)

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others. (Jules Renard)

Trying is just the first step to failure. (Homer Simpson)

The days of the digital watch are numbered. (Tom Stoppard)

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither libert or safety. (Benjamin Franklin)

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you knever know how soon it will be too late. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Patriots always talk of dying for their country, never of killing for their country. (Bertrand Russel)

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a Sunday afternoon. (Susan Ertz)

Bounty always receives part of its value from the manner in which it is bestowed. (Samuel Johnson)

Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence. (Napoleon)

Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed: everything else is public relations. (George Orwell)

Parsley, chives, tarragon and chervil - the four fines herbes. Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme - Simon and Garfunkel. (Anon)

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. (Hunter S. Thompson)

The world rewards the appearance of merit more often than merit itself. (La Rochefoucauld)

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. (Abraham Lincoln)

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. (Frank Zappa)

Under Capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism its just the opposite. (J.K.Galbraith)

Knowledge consists of knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom consists of not putting it in a fruit salad. (Miles Kington)

If all you have is a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. (Nietzsche)

When you get rich it's because you're smart; when you get poor it's because someone cheated you. (Bill Keller)

He who dies rich dies disgraced (Andrew Carnegie)

20 percent of all car accidents are caused by drunken drivers. Therefore sober drivers must have caused the remaining 80 percent. So if ALL drivers got drunk there would be an immediate reduction in the accident rate. (Tommy Cooper)

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as wind blows out candles but fans fires. (La Rochefoucauld)

Briefer than a candle, man's life. So you might as well burn yourself out as wait for the wind to do it. (Howard Jacobson)

Cannes - you can either lie on the beach and look at the stars, or vice versa. (Rex Reed)

Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth. (Albert Einstein)

The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it. The bigger the truth the more we'll say it's too far fetched. (David Icke)

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned; do not have sex with the authorites. (Matt Groening)

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. (Woody Allen)

Civilisation is a thin and precarious crust, erected by the personality and will of the few, and only maintained by rules and conventions skilfully put across and guilefully preserved. (J.M.Keynes)

Never let yesterday use up too much of today. (Will Rogers)

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is. (Many)

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. (Isaac Asimov)

Death is the black backing on the mirror that allows us to see anything at all. (Saul Bellow)

Death is no different whined at than withstood. (Philip Larkin)

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. (Aeschylus)

The noblest of all dogs is the hot dog; it feeds the hand that bites it. (Lawrence J Peter)

Chance favours only the prepared mind. (Louis Pasteur)

There is false modesty, but there is no false pride. (Jules Renard)

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it. (G.K.chesterton)

People who say money can't buy happiness are usually rich. (Lembit Opik)

The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all. (G.K.Chesterton)

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. (Mel Brooks)

Consider - in 2001, Japan's Bullet Train totalled 12 seconds late for the entire year, and the average Japanese businessman bows 200 times a day. (Observer)

Common sense is the collection of prejudices aquired by the age of eighteen. (Albert Einstein)

If you are planning for one year, plant rice. If you are planning for ten years, plant trees. If you are planning for one hundred years, educate people. (Chinese proverb)

The more opinions you have, the less you see. (Wim Wenders)

The reason the mainstream is referred to as a stream is because of its shallowness. (George Carlin)

If you laid all the economists end to end, they still wouldn't reach a conclusion. (George Bernard Shaw)

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. (Anais Nin)

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. (Blaise Pascal)

The lesson of history is that no one ever heeds the lesson of history. (Lord Lipsey and others before him and since)

From history we learn that we have not learnt from history. (Hegel)

The Sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent upon it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do. (Galileo)

Hope is the confusion of a desire for something with its probability. (Anon.)

Art is what you can get away with. (Andy Warhol)

Never confuse motion with action. (Benjamin Franklin)

Never mistake motion for action. (Ernest Hemingway)

In 1996, in a knee-jerk reaction to the Dunblane shooting, handguns were made illegal in the UK. 5 years later and crimes involving handguns had risen by 40%. (UK Government Statistic)

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

By the end of 2001, 264 Falkland War veterans had committed suicide. That is nine more than died in the 1982 war itself. (Mail on Sunday)

To find a friend one must close one eye. To keep him - two. (Norman Douglas)

Even more important than a friendly meeting is a friendly parting. (Chinese proverb)

The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure. (Rousseau)

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. (Eric Hoffer)

No man was ever wise by chance. (Seneca)